193.

Johannes lowered his head and stared at his fingernails. They were more like claws, one would believe. Weapons curled up there, black as pitch, that could easily tear apart his delicate sister’s skin. He acknowledged it slowly, silently.

Violence.

That was the only difference between Xavier, who obtained her eyes, and Johannes, who failed. Moreover, while his sister could only obtain a knife after a long struggle, he was already a weapon just by existing. Inette. Your kindness to me will be my only crime.

He retracted his claws. Both the past Idris and his current empty shell curled up entirely before her. Hair shattering into pieces in the midday sun. Arms that would snap in two with just a gentle twist. An ailing body. Even the bitter scent of medicinal herbs, you…

As tender and lovely as you were, you were frightening.

For that reason, he could never take what he could have had at any time. No. He chose not to take it. Thus, “fragility” was her innate weapon.

How it pained him that he couldn’t harm her even as his heart burned. He couldn’t count the nights he spent sleepless, his chest aching. They were merely two sides of the same coin, but he hadn’t realized it until now.

Forgive me. Please forgive me, Idris…. The cowardice that made him tremble before her. You should cherish me, Johannes. The arrogance that provoked Valdemar’s eldest son even while confined to the women’s quarters. The ecstatic yet cold eyes that abandoned only that one person in each of Valdemar’s fortresses in the wilderness wells, as if giving alms. Even the domineering aspect Johannes himself had fantasized about was all the language of the weak. Idris! Johannes…! What will you do with me?

“I know well that you, being good, wouldn’t dare to harm me.”

His beautiful and vulgar girl thrashes about like a wild beast. He crumbles. I’ll hurt you. Only then… will you resent me with all your might and long for me, as you did with Xavier. This night.

Realize that this man, who silently wishes to be trampled by your fair and naive bare feet, and desires to be trampled again, is truly your king. Sadly, this body isn’t one that can die as easily as Xavier’s. So you, awakened to reality, live only under my permission like a captured beast. Because there’s no way to kill me even if you wanted to, harbor a grudge in your belly that makes you suddenly want to die, and think only of me. Understood?

Giovinetta.

At this thought, his smile becomes quite gentle. Beneath his soft face, his entire body was endlessly breaking apart, finding its true form. From inside his solar plexus, tendons that had been pulling and constricting the fabric called Johannes, maintaining the balanced shape of a human, snapped one by one.

Flesh and joints burst out. A noise that one would expect to hear in a slaughterhouse echoed through his sister’s quiet bedchamber. Finally, even his golden hair darkened as if burning. And Johannes simply let his body swell and blacken.

If he endured this woman for even a moment longer, he would truly go mad.

Even the chuckle he inadvertently let out at a fleeting rage was, of all things, as hollow as a gentle breeze. It was his heart, which had been boiling with fiery heat, now only managing a pale smile. His shell, unable to bear this, expressed it instead through the chilling self-harm of tearing, ripping, and shredding itself. It would no longer endure this suffocatingly unfortunate desire. So he had no choice but to let it go. Ah, yes. He would not repeat the same mistake twice.

“…Jo, han?”

Inette’s eyes widened like oil lamps, as if chilled by the unidentifiable ominous sound, and he faintly heard her rustle the blanket. The last call was almost a whisper.

Johannes quietly tilted his head. Down below. His sister’s chest, now seemingly small enough to fit in one hand, was continuously making shallow panting sounds. If she had seen the ominous figure silently looking down at her in this pitch darkness, she would surely have lost her breath. With eyes consumed but ears alive, she directed all her attention towards him.

Suddenly, Johannes thought about turning on a light. It was a self-deprecating thought: Shouldn’t you see the monster you bore and created at least once? No. To be honest, he even wanted to gently lift her eyelids and scratch her transparent corneas with his nails. So that he would forever flicker there. So that she could never look away. So that even with tightly shut, tear-sticky eyes, she could never forget this me.

He laughed again. In the old days, Xavier had ignited a twisted thirst in his sister’s belly through meticulous and prolonged abuse. This monstrous appearance you see will be a hook comparable to Xavier’s violence.

“I shame you.”

At the sudden voice, Inette’s shoulders jerked. She hesitantly raised her head, as if the voice falling softly from an unnaturally high place was strange.

“Jo… han?”

After asking this, she shuddered once more. However, perhaps because her brother’s first words were gentle, she seemed to have gained some courage. With a hand that couldn’t completely shake off anxiety, she straightened her nightgown collar and asked haltingly.

“Strange. Your voice…. Something…”

“…”

“Why are you… like this? A man…”

“I’ll only answer the questions you ask.”

He quietly cut off her words. For some reason, the moment she heard this, Inette’s face looked as if she had been hit on the back of the head. She couldn’t even blink. Along with that, a red flush gradually rose on her frozen cheeks, and soon she quietly bit her lips, becoming that familiar icy needle.

Johannes smiled slightly at Inette, who was glaring at him. Your pride is hurt. Because I’m kneeling, you feel less intimidated. Her inability to see was actually fortunate for her. To still maintain such an innocent and noble appearance alone. At that moment, he realized he still had some guts left to twist.

“I shame you.”

“Yes.”

To the same question, Inette shot back without the slightest hesitation. Although a bitter feeling flashed across Johannes’s pupils, he didn’t bat an eye. Johannes asked again.

“If I had silently let you go, would your mood have been more pleasant than now?”

“Yes.”

“…”

“I didn’t want to know anything other than my own circumstances.”

“…”

“I never wanted it.”

“You really…”

Inette, with her neck stretched taut, was ready to counter even her brother’s tone. Johan. Your tone is too green and red, it’s unsightly and disgusting. Shouldn’t an heir make a firm choice? Johannes slowly shook his head. A laugh almost escaped. No. This time it was a sigh.

“You’re not broken yet.”

“…”

“Less broken.”

A puzzled look crossed Inette’s cold eyes. She seemed about to catch his words, as if to say what nonsense are you spouting this time. But his hand moved first. His right hand.

Swish.

With his back to his sister, he suddenly grabbed and pulled down the stiffening corpse’s calf. Inette, who had quickly turned her head at the nearby noise, swallowed her breath. Her slender profile immediately turned pale. Although her eyes still couldn’t see and were shaking uncontrollably, the sound alone was enough for her to grasp the situation.

She seemed to be overcome with an intense premonition. It’s coming. The worst of misfortunes is befalling her husband, or more accurately, herself. The rustling sound of her husband’s nightgown is the first drop of this night.

“You…! What are you doing!”

Inette lunged like lightning. Having thrown her body first in an almost flailing manner, she couldn’t stop Johannes’s arm. She only managed to crash into Johannes’s forearm with her slender waist with a thud. Inette, who had fallen forward on her own, let out a groan like a scream, “Ouch, ouch…” and quickly raised her upper body.

There was no time to fix her disheveled clothes. Like a blind person searching for a cane, she fumbled around in the darkness, touching various parts of Johannes’s body, and finally climbed up to his shoulder. She clung to him desperately. She didn’t seem to notice that her brother’s huge body or the metallic feel of his bare skin was different from usual, probably because her husband might wake up at any moment in the current situation. She truly looked completely out of her mind. Unable to raise her voice, she whispered desperately, shaking her head several times.

“No. Why are you doing this. No. Johan…! Why. Why…! Why are you doing this…! Don’t. Okay? Stop. Why are you doing this. Tell me, ump…!”

Johannes wrapped his remaining hand around her neck and covered her mouth. He pulled her down into his arms and made her sit. Inette, who ended up under her hateful brother’s belly in an embracing position at this critical moment, bounced up like steel. No, she tried to, but was blocked by Johannes’s arm.

With her mouth covered, Inette couldn’t even utter curses of refusal. She just shook her head violently, making muffled sounds. She shuddered. Johannes, who had gently pressed down on her shoulder with his solid elbow, grabbed the corpse husband’s head with one hand and threw it near his knee. Would it hurt? He heard his sister inhale sharply under his chin. The shoulder caught in his arm was becoming stiffly rigid. It seemed he had pressed too deep. Would it hurt?

What does it matter?

The eye-smile that curved long at the corners of his eyes didn’t change, even with his thick horns. He smiled quietly like that. On the palm covering his sister’s mouth, her breath, exhaled through her nose due to her blocked mouth, was accumulating hotly. It feels as if it will soak into his entire skin, unbearably hot. This child won’t wait even for a moment. Well, he’s glad for that too, so it doesn’t matter. Shh, shh…

Johannes made a wind-like sound as if out of habit. He deeply lowered his head until his lips touched the crown of Inette’s head, which was fidgeting with her whole body under his collarbone, and rubbed it a couple of times. His heart trembled as if burning with dark excitement. He couldn’t help but ask.

“Why… do you make me do such things.”

“…”

“Hm?”

“…”

“Giovinetta.”

If only I could stay by your side, I would have been the one to die and live, shuddering in ecstasy at a single word of your sweet or cruel mockery. Rustle. Johannes breathed a chilling sound into his sister’s ear.